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 I WAS NEVER ONCE HAPPY ABOUT MY LIFE EviL-ShaDow 15th Nov 1988 20yo Mandai Hill Camp Jonathanjame999@hotmail.com Detach About mi I have selective memory loss I have very bad short term memory I am a "sudden arrival and departure I am eccentric I am impetuous I love and desire for things that I cant have I don’t know how to cherish things that I have I have a big attitude problem I live in confusion I don’t know what I want in life I have a split personality – as of always My life is filled with confusion, blunders and scandals... I will have bad karma I know… Love me for who i am, if not fuck off. wishlist
To find the real meLearn to love myself before loving someone Die before 30 - think i had live enough If i were to die let me die with a tragic death -i know, i had done too much sins Let me suffer once like how i did again No more plastic and no more drama There's no forever, so i just wish for a ever lasting relationships To talk less & listen more Never trust anyone whereby i don even trust myself No more RealityShips A message from you -Yeah, from my bf Nothing gonna change my love for you To have a chance to "mend" back Slap me hard everytime when u see me, just to wake me up Nuffnang Ads
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Sunday, November 8, 2009, 10:20 PM
The Feeling Of Running Away..
Nothing really comes to my:
Interest.. Concern.. Point of view.. Worry.. Burden.. Or whatever that come to my mind.. I really don't know what is wrong with me.. My mood is just going up or down anytime & anywhere.. A little things would make me so angry that can kills.. A little things include just seeing the faces i really hate.. My mood swing is so power that.. It can swing till i myself also don't know where it goes to.. Many little things could just irritant me.. Sometimes my imagination could run so wild.. Until i'm smiling to myself.. So far i have not caught myself talking to myself.. I know is not healthy, or others might hear you.. I know, at least when i talk to "me" there's always no one around.. Shall not say too much here.. But one thing for sure.. I'm not lying.. I have been hearing voices or noise.. Which is not calling me.. But it is attracting my attention.. Sometimes i din really bother about it.. But sometime it really scare the freak out of myself.. Sometimes i would just stare into the mirror.. Looking at myself.. For how long i'm not sure.. But whenever i see my mouth start to open & close.. I know, i should stop staring in the mirror.. I really don't know is he the one in the mirror i can talk to.. It really confuse me most of the time.. I got no one that i really want to go to.. Is not that there's nobody i can go to.. And i don't know why i got so concern.. When the fcuking things is none of my concern.. Am i falling into depression.. But I really got to surrender.. I'm falling into loneliness.. But i just love my life now.. Nothing to commit.. Nothing to concern.. Nothing to give or gain.. Moreover i had made my promise to himself.. I'm so gonna stay single.. I won't let relationships attack me once again.. Anyway just one more week to my 21st birthday.. It din really get me excited.. It just kind of irritant me.. Shall not say so much.. To the world, just STFU-PLS JONATHAN OR ShaDow He shall decide.. 08/11/2009  |